A Nod to the Non Monotonous

Imagine yourself for a moment, the brightest leaf on the brightest tree in the peak of fall. How does it feel to flutter with the wind? 

How does it feel to be a part of something as transcendent as a tree changing color? How does it feel to fall to the ground, to be absorbed into the soil? 

We as people aren’t so different from those leaves. We are a part of the cycle, too. 

We change slowly, a little more each day. Our changes are not ours alone.

We transition through an array of colors. From the blue in the sky, to green and brown ground, yellow and red trees, and then a blank white slate.

Sure the sudden onslaught of snow can feel cold, but how beautiful does it look resting on the pine trees?

We could look at the progressing winter with a glaring apprehension based on our recollection of past winters. Or we could approach it with a childlike awe. 

The seasons move on and the warm sun always has its way of resurfacing. Bulbs planted months prior pop as melting snow inflates the rivers and forms streams to carry the worries of winter away. You can either allow the stream of melting snow to run through you, or build a blockage and keep from moving on. But it can’t keep from spilling over forever. 

Remember when it wasn’t this cold? It’ll be like that again. Your toes won’t feel like they’re frozen forever.

The warmth from a fire on a brisk day reminds us to stay humble. It could all be so different. The blessings are always there, even in the most bitter times. There need not be pressure. Move with grace through the powdered heap of refreshment.

We are creatures of habit, seeking ways to stay sane during the most chaotic of times. But we all fall into ruts, right? 

Sometimes leaves fall from trees at alarming rates. A blizzard swings by and shakes everything up. Wind picks up to a pace that makes it hard to stay grounded.

Change—sudden, swift, and sharp—shakes us loose from the branches. 

The Exchange of Change

Each of our personalities can vary so deeply, and yet, we’re all composed of the same collection of organs. We feel things the same way. We breathe the same breath. 

We all search for ways to connect with others, whether consciously or not. And yet, handling change feels like a lonely, solitary endeavor at times. It can feel like no one understands, or we assume that no one gets it. 

Fall festivities, spring cleaning, staying warm in winter, and cool in summer. A boomerang of polarity. From one season to the next, we keep going whether we want to or not. 

It can feel like part of your own person has died as you move into different phases of life. 

The past version of you is not dead. However, it does not exist as it once did. 

As a fire burns, it clears space for new to rise from the ashes. 

Everything will be different again eventually, so why not go after what you want? What would that even look like to you? 

You may want something completely different than you used to. But you may still occasionally dream of the glorified version of the past that exists in your head. That is not all that you are anymore. 

You are a cut-and-paste collage, made up of all your hopes, dreams, and experiences. Sometimes it gets messy. Sometimes, the collage needs some reinforcing and rearranging. Some things added, and others removed. 

Though it can be easy to imagine the life we’d like to have, it’s usually not so easy to take the plunge into new waters. Or, we lose courage from the extent of life shaking us up one too many times. 

Why do we admire the change of season but fear change in our lives? 

What can the change of season teach us, if we let it? 

The Why of Letting Go

We talk a lot about the art of letting go of what no longer serves us. This often comes up in yoga classes, moving on from a breakup, autumn, etc. But what does that actually mean? What can that look or feel like? 

Whatever letting go of is, it does not happen overnight. It happens slowly. Perhaps by giving yourself more compliments than criticisms, by spending less and less time thinking about that thing or person, by taking time to learn new things, to practice new hobbies, meet new people. 

Life is a continuous cycle of change. It has a funny way of circling us back to the beginning. What we thought could be stuffed down rises to the surface again and again. 

Accept and let go, they say. That doesn’t just happen at the flick of a switch. Especially in times such as these, that isn’t very easy to do.

But the more we tune into how and why we feel a certain way about whatever, we can better see what we couldn’t see so clearly before. We’ve got to feel the feelings and start accepting why it happened, so we can move on. 

From my own experience, I may have known that I wasn’t happy with my ex-boyfriend, but it took me a long time to really understand why. It took questioning myself to get to the real bottom of why we didn’t work. 

I’m still learning what it means to let go of the past, and what I’d thought my future would look like. It seems to be a lifelong process to let go of old ways of being. But the more clutter that gets cleared away, the more room there is for new.

While we change, the past remains and we can draw wisdom from it. Maybe something won’t work because of what happened before, or now I better understand how to get somewhere because I got lost last time. 

Letting go of what has already passed does not mean forgetting nor disregarding. It is an acknowledgement and a choice. Recognizing, “Okay, yes, this happened to me, or I did this,” and choosing to try again with each day, in a new way. 

Moving through Change

What does it mean to embrace the change that comes with letting things go? What does that look like, feel like? It’s not as warm and cozy as hot chocolate and a blanket by a fireplace, but it can be a beautiful thing. 

Embracing change is saying, “Okay, universe, I see what you did there.” 

As it grows colder, all that must be done to embrace the change is add more layers, a warm hat and gloves. Embracing the change in your life doesn’t have to be much different. 

Submit yourself to the trees on a fall-colored path. Let your feet stumble over the roots, get swept up in pine needles. Relish in how good it feels to be grounded in movement. 

Sometimes the stillness of the woods can be scary, intimidating. Feeling as though you’re not cut out to survive what you might come across, you could turn around and head back to your car before something happens. Or you can learn how to trust the path that you’re on. How to keep going despite fear. That’s what it means to embrace change. A knowing that everything carries on anyway. 

Flow with the falling leaves. Settle into the soil. Trust your feet. Grow anew. 

One day you feel lost, and that day blends in with the next, and then the next, until you find yourself back on a path. It may not be the trail you were on before, but that’s okay. 

We can softly nod, an ode to change. An appreciation for new paths that open up. Take a moment of gratitude for what lives in the past, for it brought us to this moment. 

Each one of us a leaf, drifting on by. 

How will you embrace change this season? 

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