Here’s my take on taking care of yourself amid change, heartbreak, or seeming stagnancy, while rebirthing a new way to be. 

Dear reader,

Do you feel as though you are at the dawn of a new chapter? As though your power is becoming more potent from what you’ve experienced and learned from?

Perhaps you are past the new perspective and have reached a place of blossoming self-love and respect. In many ways you are leveling up. But that doesn’t come without its own set of new, or different challenges. 

Will you foster more nurturing habits in this new phase?

To be real with you

I knew something wasn’t right. For a while, I could ignore it. It was easier to put my needs off to the side, and instead pour my energy into not the healthiest of habits and relationships. A common theme that prevailed was putting the begs of my body on the backburner. 

Perhaps because of previous heartbreak and change, I could see the signs that I was not nurturing myself. At least not like I had been prior to hopping into a new relationship. I downplayed, or straight-up ignored, the gut feeling that something wasn’t right with my body, and that I needed to end said relationship. It got to the point where I literally couldn’t see straight. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. 

After months of increasing blurred vision, unquenchable thirst, unintentional weight loss, exhaustion, irritability, and loads of other symptoms, I finally decided to make my health a priority. 

Once I saw my doctor and got my lab work back, I came to found out what had started to fizzle me out is Type 1 Diabetes (T1D). Though I am still very much in the beginning phases of diagnosis — the relief when I started taking insulin felt profound…

None of this change stuff is easy. It requires a heap of faith and acceptance. I am learning what it means to surrender, without giving in to fear.  

Tuning in to faithful awareness

Stepping away from ingrained patterns, beliefs, and behaviors requires time and perseverance. It takes a pure dedication, especially if you want to stand the test of time’s challenges. 

A dear friend recently said to give myself grace. She was referring to diabetes management, but grace is something we all can contain and maintain.

Allow yourself grace when things you thought you healed from pop back up. When your to-do list continues to grow without seeming to get anything done. Whatever it may be that trips you up every now and then. 

As your awareness grows, the more you may see thoughts as just that — a thought. Not every thought is true. You can laugh at the shapes of clouds your thoughts compute. 

How do you make up these images in your mind? 

Seeing through the illusions

We build our realities on the basis of comparison (and that’s on early child development). It’s natural for us to compare not just our lives to others, but from one personal experience to the next. 

We compare a new romantic partner to the Ex. We compare who we are now to who we’ve been. This is how we spot differences and learn from past mistakes. But some things are simply incomparable. When the unexpected happens, we can be left feeling unsure of how to move forward. 

When you reach these different points in life, or when a manifestation comes to fruition, you may just see another mountain to climb. The growth never stops. We can chart out on a new path. Or we can revisit somewhere for a while. We must revisit sometimes. 

Like returning to a town where you once resided. You may notice how old feelings resurface as your drive down familiar roads. And yet, there’s a sense that it’s no longer the time in your life when this place and the people there were all you knew. Oh, to be naïve again. Before you became the person you are today. You may recall how you wished things were different then, like how I always wanted to attend more music festivals than I could. 

In retrospect, I would not change a thing that has led me to be here now. 

Reaching the shore

You may wonder, is there such a thing as calm amidst chaos? Can you remain “sane” while the frame in which you see the world deteriorates? 

You will never have total say over what happens. Though you can practice changing the ways you react, life can still feel like a never-ending storm that keeps trying to rip you under its current.

You cannot control the world, but you can calm your own waters. You can learn to recognize phases in the tide. When you need to avoid the rising waves, or when you need a dip in the lake to renew your spirit. 

You can’t avoid burnout. But the small and big decisions you make throughout the day can play a role in how you feel in the short and long run. Everything adds up and contributes to the whole. 

To sum it up, honey – sometimes you just need to tend your body, mind, and soul. 

As I continue to learn and accept the process, my definition of a “balanced” life expands. I am nowhere near an expert when it comes to this stuff. What I do know, is that it’s a continuous practice of falling and getting back up. 

We aren’t meant to always feel our best. Happiness is not something you can master. But a little self-love goes a long way. 

Put the illusory comparisons and limiting beliefs to rest.

Try this

Here are 7 ways to nurture yourself. Feel free to add, edit, and delete as you deem necessary. As always, follow what feels right for you. 

1. Listen to your body

Between breaks in the day, pause to notice. Practice scanning your body, from the top of your head down to your toes. Tuning in to your unique energy can allow you to pick up on subtle changes. Your body has its own way of communicating without words. Will you listen? 

For example, when deciding what to eat for lunch – ask yourself. Listen for the answer you hear first. You may want to consider approaching your daily patterns differently or seek medical advice if something doesn’t feel right in your body. 

Stretch deeply when needed. Find movement that raises your heart rate. Build your strength. Get that blood flow going in opposite directions. Listen to your body. Be gentle with yourself.

2. Trust your inner voice

Do you trust your inner voice, or do you tend to keep the quiet thoughts, quiet? 

As I brought up at the start, I found myself in a new romantic relationship this year. In the beginning, it felt like a movie. Pure bliss. I was able to ignore the red flags. I’ll save the details for my future book, but I was being tested on if I could honor the truth of my soul. 

Some of the ways I cultivate a practice of listening to my inner voice, or my higher self, is through journaling, reading tarot, and Reiki. But it can start with doing something as basic as deciding what to wear each day. 

Through staying committed to these practices of going inward, I started to pick up on themes that were playing out in my life. I could push these to the side through the pleas of another’s persuasion. But that only works for so long. I had to get honest and real with myself. In this instance, I knew I had to end the relationship. I needed to break myself free to feel like myself again. 

3. Feel the feels

Breaking free from the restraints that keep you in place is not without a fret. Sometimes you need to sit with how you’re feeling before you can move on. Cry, scream, shake the sillies out. Journal. Confide in a close friend. Be honest with yourself about how you feel. Accept it. Allow yourself to feel it all. That is how we start to heal. 

Like I mention in the point prior, nurturing yourself can mean getting real. And that can hurt. Try not to be afraid of being vulnerable with yourself, and those you feel comfortable with. In time, you will see what breaks through and out from the soil fertilized with your tears. 

4. Fill your cup

All the while, you are learning what it means to fill your own cup. What brings you joy? What can you do more or less of? When do you feel your magic?

Do more of those things that fill your cup. How do these things make you feel?

I feel my magic when I…

• Dance
• Write
• Practice Reiki
• Listen to music and meditate
• Eat something yummy and nutritious 

When I invest in my magic — when I take small moments for my joy throughout the day — I feel powerful. It feels like a light turns on and I am glowing. It makes me feel alive. Like I can do anything. As though I am one with the pulse of love. That sounds cheesy, but it’s true! 

Being able to spend even the smallest moment doing what you love can serve as a reminder that you are a part of something greater. See what spurs from these investments in your joy. 

5. Clear space

Self-care and self-nurturing can involve doing the dirty work (AKA the deep cleaning you’ve been avoiding).

Clean your room, the forgotten corners of your home — create room for what’s new. Make space for what’s on its way. 

Dust and disinfect. Sort your things into “keep”, “giveaway”, and “throw away” piles. You don’t have to do it all in one day. Unless you have the motivation to do so. 

I tend to focus on small areas individually. One day, I’ll clean out my closet or do my laundry. Another day, I’ll dust and rearrange my desk or throw away the hoard of garbage in my car. 

Again, offer yourself grace. The main point I’m getting at here is that you need to create space for what you are calling in, or it will have nowhere to go. Clear space to clear your thoughts and learn anew. 

6. Visualize your dreams

How will you wish to fill that newly created space? What would you like to call in? What do you desire more of? What will make you feel more balanced and less frazzled all the time?

May you experiment and find what works for you. Know that you can always return to your inner knowing. 

You are wired to receive messages. Whether that be from your body, the environment around you, or from your imagination. Tend to the practice of tuning in. Practice magic every day in your own way. 

What feels sacred to you? Where does your inner knowing lead you?

Visualize your dreams, as if they are already so. Your dreams may change as your perspective continues to shift. You may discover something new about yourself. As we spiral around, the same lessons can show up in different ways. 

7. Set clear boundaries

Be assertive in establishing boundaries from what you do not want or resonate with anymore. Protect yourself to get where you’re going. Despite how much someone can try to convince you against your gut feeling. You know what is best for you in the long run. 

Nurturing yourself is about standing in your worth. Speak your heart’s truth into existence. Make it real and make it known. Call back your power again and again.

Let the past go. Make room for a better life. 

With love and gratitude,

Julia (Spoolia Spirals)

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